Dear Khaulah,
Assalaamu'alaikum WBT. How have you been, lil girl? Sorry been busy with work that I have no time to write for you no matter how much I wanted to.. that the topics for my next letter became a little too many and mixed up with one another. A little too much that now I don't know where to start haha.. sorry too that I am always tired getting back from work leaving you less time to play, read, draw and do other things together. But it won't be long insyaAllah, just for this one month like how its been in these past few years ;)
So first, let me tell you how much your mom and dad here loves you.. and how grateful we are to Allah for lending us a kindhearted little angel you are. For me, seeing your smile and your mom's after a long day at work gives me the extra strength to go through what might be a bad day.
By the way, soon you'll be 33 months old and in 3 months time you will be 3. You'll be going to school in January too!! Sometimes, its just hard to believe how much time has passed and how much you've grown within these past years and indeed we too are growing older just the same Khaulah. I love how we always have something to talk about and I hope that won't change because as you said we're friends and in fact to me you are my best friend, a pleasant companion.
I guess that's it for now, may Allah bless you wherever you are and in whatever you do.
Yours Lovingly,
Dad.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Saturday, August 19, 2017
#16. Talking to the moon
Dear Khaulah,
Assalaamualaikum wbt.
Looking at the stars is definitely different from looking at the moon, and looking at the moon during the night is indeed not the same like looking at it during the day. We've watched the moon during some mornings and eves together, Khaulah.The magnificent orb of night that we often refer as moon is sure one of a great wonder.
During my younger days living at the hostel when I first entered middle school, I used to spend quite a lot of time gazing at the moon and the stars too. Alone, I would walk a few blocks away from the hostel and lie down facing up to the sky while having dialogue with the moon, or rather my inner self. Then I rushed to take my bath before heading to the night-study hall. Only then I would happily spend the night studying with my friends after spending some for myself. If my friends told you that I was quiet, that's because I already talked too much in my head haha xD
This habit actually followed me throughout my university life, though with a different sentiment. After the passing of my late grandmother, I would imagine that the moment I gaze at the moon, she was looking at it too from somewhere far away. Then for years I pretended to talk with her about things, though later I learned that things like this don't happen in Islam, our reality. Knowing her fate broke me and getting over it was just too hard.
Never did I thought that the same beloved moon was actually one of the mu'jizat that Allah bestowed to his Messenger, Muhammad SAW. The moment I knew about that, I never looked at the moon the same way again. The stunning orb now reminds me of how close we are with our beloved prophet. The fact that the same moon is still up there makes it feel like that it hasn't been that long since the prophet was here. And looking at its beauty makes us miss the prophet more because in one occasion a companion of the Prophet told other companions how one night he kept on looking at the moon then at the prophet who was wearing a red robe repeatedly, then he said that the prophet looked even more charming than the full moon.
Indeed as you look at all these creations of Allah, with us or without, never forget to think of the hikmah behind it and thank Allah for in fact all of these worldly things were created as tools for us to get closer to Him.
Love,
Dad.
[Edit 10 May 2021 : Lol I just knew that there was this song Talking To The Moon released in 2010. Never heard of if XD But looking at the lyrics, the point is quite simillar you see :)]
Assalaamualaikum wbt.
Looking at the stars is definitely different from looking at the moon, and looking at the moon during the night is indeed not the same like looking at it during the day. We've watched the moon during some mornings and eves together, Khaulah.The magnificent orb of night that we often refer as moon is sure one of a great wonder.
During my younger days living at the hostel when I first entered middle school, I used to spend quite a lot of time gazing at the moon and the stars too. Alone, I would walk a few blocks away from the hostel and lie down facing up to the sky while having dialogue with the moon, or rather my inner self. Then I rushed to take my bath before heading to the night-study hall. Only then I would happily spend the night studying with my friends after spending some for myself. If my friends told you that I was quiet, that's because I already talked too much in my head haha xD
This habit actually followed me throughout my university life, though with a different sentiment. After the passing of my late grandmother, I would imagine that the moment I gaze at the moon, she was looking at it too from somewhere far away. Then for years I pretended to talk with her about things, though later I learned that things like this don't happen in Islam, our reality. Knowing her fate broke me and getting over it was just too hard.
Never did I thought that the same beloved moon was actually one of the mu'jizat that Allah bestowed to his Messenger, Muhammad SAW. The moment I knew about that, I never looked at the moon the same way again. The stunning orb now reminds me of how close we are with our beloved prophet. The fact that the same moon is still up there makes it feel like that it hasn't been that long since the prophet was here. And looking at its beauty makes us miss the prophet more because in one occasion a companion of the Prophet told other companions how one night he kept on looking at the moon then at the prophet who was wearing a red robe repeatedly, then he said that the prophet looked even more charming than the full moon.
Indeed as you look at all these creations of Allah, with us or without, never forget to think of the hikmah behind it and thank Allah for in fact all of these worldly things were created as tools for us to get closer to Him.
Love,
Dad.
[Edit 10 May 2021 : Lol I just knew that there was this song Talking To The Moon released in 2010. Never heard of if XD But looking at the lyrics, the point is quite simillar you see :)]
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
#15. Road of broken dreams
Dear Khaulah,
Yours Lovingly,
Dad
22 July 2017
Assalaamu'alaikum wbt. How are you today? Right now I'm in the bus en route to Temburong for a work trip. You were still fast asleep this morning when I depart from the house. Oh and today you have Raya Celebration at daycare too :)
A few days ago, while I was driving alone, don't know why but suddenly I felt like turning off the radio and air conditioner and open the windows. Hearing the sound of the wind was refreshing. Suddenly the memory of having a long drive like that on my first car (whose air conditioner doesn't worked well) struck me, thus reminding me how much I've been wanting to write about a certain topic here.
Memory. I'm sure by now you have quite a lot of them too, good and bad. These memories that we have actually can be triggered by some cues ; be it a certain sound or lack thereof, a particular scent, a certain place, a specific action or its absence, or anything that flashes you back into your past. Different people will have different triggers that works well on them but bear in mind of this: people will forget the things you do, and people will forget the things you say. People, too, seldom remember exactly what you wrote, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Yep, everyone will remember things better when their hearts are involved.
In 2009, one of the most severe flood that I've ever seen befell our beloved country. I was one of the volunteers in distributing food rations to the affected people and houses. Riding a military truck, we can see how hopeless those houses were, most of them half-filled with water and some cars were already submerged. Most of the people were standing outside of their houses at the roadside where the water almost reached their knees, some were elders, some carrying babies and some children playing with the water. We can see many people transiting other military trucks in order to reach other places and seeing all that, I was already broken. But what I'll never forget is the expression of the people as we stopped at every corner and junctions bringing down the food supplies, these troubles souls then would smile at us and speak of their gratefulness. This memory would keep on reappearing vividly every time I drove past those then-flooded places.
The same will happen with other things too no matter what you do, be it the as the giver or as the recipient, be it as the one who comforts or as the consoled, but as I keep on telling you, Khaulah, if you want to be remembered then be remembered as the kindest in giving or in showing appreciation and gratefulness. And of course, being remembered by Allah and mentioned by Him on His assembly should be out top target that we should strive together.
Memories can't always be good. We will somehow make mistakes here and there, and like me, you will also have some pasts that you're not proud of. So if by now you have something that brings you down, remember that you're not supposed to wait forever on your road of broken dreams, embrace the teachings of Islam and it will become a wing that will never breaks. And remember that by making us go through our past either triumph or failure and mistakes, Allah brought us where we are now.
A few days ago, while I was driving alone, don't know why but suddenly I felt like turning off the radio and air conditioner and open the windows. Hearing the sound of the wind was refreshing. Suddenly the memory of having a long drive like that on my first car (whose air conditioner doesn't worked well) struck me, thus reminding me how much I've been wanting to write about a certain topic here.
Memory. I'm sure by now you have quite a lot of them too, good and bad. These memories that we have actually can be triggered by some cues ; be it a certain sound or lack thereof, a particular scent, a certain place, a specific action or its absence, or anything that flashes you back into your past. Different people will have different triggers that works well on them but bear in mind of this: people will forget the things you do, and people will forget the things you say. People, too, seldom remember exactly what you wrote, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Yep, everyone will remember things better when their hearts are involved.
In 2009, one of the most severe flood that I've ever seen befell our beloved country. I was one of the volunteers in distributing food rations to the affected people and houses. Riding a military truck, we can see how hopeless those houses were, most of them half-filled with water and some cars were already submerged. Most of the people were standing outside of their houses at the roadside where the water almost reached their knees, some were elders, some carrying babies and some children playing with the water. We can see many people transiting other military trucks in order to reach other places and seeing all that, I was already broken. But what I'll never forget is the expression of the people as we stopped at every corner and junctions bringing down the food supplies, these troubles souls then would smile at us and speak of their gratefulness. This memory would keep on reappearing vividly every time I drove past those then-flooded places.
The same will happen with other things too no matter what you do, be it the as the giver or as the recipient, be it as the one who comforts or as the consoled, but as I keep on telling you, Khaulah, if you want to be remembered then be remembered as the kindest in giving or in showing appreciation and gratefulness. And of course, being remembered by Allah and mentioned by Him on His assembly should be out top target that we should strive together.
Memories can't always be good. We will somehow make mistakes here and there, and like me, you will also have some pasts that you're not proud of. So if by now you have something that brings you down, remember that you're not supposed to wait forever on your road of broken dreams, embrace the teachings of Islam and it will become a wing that will never breaks. And remember that by making us go through our past either triumph or failure and mistakes, Allah brought us where we are now.
Yours Lovingly,
Dad
22 July 2017
Saturday, June 24, 2017
#14. Muhammad
Assalaamu'alaikum WBT.
Dear Khaulah,
How are things going for you right now? Alhamdulillah 'alaa kulli haal, today marks the 29th day of Ramadhan and could be the last day before Syawal. If the moon is sighted later this afternoon, then tomorrow we will be celebrating Eid insyaAllah. Oh you are celebrating them right now at the daycare by the way :)
I recall 7 years ago, towards the ending of my first Ramadhan, my chest felt so constricted and crammed with so much feelings at once. Then during the Eid prayer, everything bursted and tears wont stop coming out. That was the feeling of sadness because Ramadhan left (without bringing me), and sheer gratefullness because Allah have chosen me to become Muslim that year and allowed me to greet then say farewell to Ramadhan. Ah so sweet a memory.
This year I might did more than back then, but compared to the knowledge that I have now on things that I should be doing, it felt like I accomplished nothing this Ramadhan, and that frustrates me. I know that I'm having less time to recite Quran, i'tikaf or sleepover at the masjid, or the other things that we usually do because I have to care for the household, you and your mom whom Allah tests with sickness right now, but still sometimes its hard for me to wheedle my own feelings.
---------
During the earlier days as a Muslim, I actually prefered to be called with the first word of my 'new' name - Muhammad, especially during teaching practice and short programmes. The students then would refer me as Sir Muhammad or Cikgu Muhammad. Thats how deep my love of the owner of the name, and how much I want to meet him and be like him, our Prophet SAW.
Honestly, after how things have been lately, my resentment was soothed just by asking myself "What would Muhammad S.A.W do in this situation?" And of course he did every kind things, the kindest ways possible! The same with how he cared for his family. I really hope that by doing this, Allah grants me forgiveness this Ramadhan.
May Allah lift the afflictions on your mom, and with it forgives all her sins. May we have the chance to meet Ramadhan again next year. And thank you Khaulah, for being so much help at home :)
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
How are things going for you right now? Alhamdulillah 'alaa kulli haal, today marks the 29th day of Ramadhan and could be the last day before Syawal. If the moon is sighted later this afternoon, then tomorrow we will be celebrating Eid insyaAllah. Oh you are celebrating them right now at the daycare by the way :)
I recall 7 years ago, towards the ending of my first Ramadhan, my chest felt so constricted and crammed with so much feelings at once. Then during the Eid prayer, everything bursted and tears wont stop coming out. That was the feeling of sadness because Ramadhan left (without bringing me), and sheer gratefullness because Allah have chosen me to become Muslim that year and allowed me to greet then say farewell to Ramadhan. Ah so sweet a memory.
This year I might did more than back then, but compared to the knowledge that I have now on things that I should be doing, it felt like I accomplished nothing this Ramadhan, and that frustrates me. I know that I'm having less time to recite Quran, i'tikaf or sleepover at the masjid, or the other things that we usually do because I have to care for the household, you and your mom whom Allah tests with sickness right now, but still sometimes its hard for me to wheedle my own feelings.
---------
During the earlier days as a Muslim, I actually prefered to be called with the first word of my 'new' name - Muhammad, especially during teaching practice and short programmes. The students then would refer me as Sir Muhammad or Cikgu Muhammad. Thats how deep my love of the owner of the name, and how much I want to meet him and be like him, our Prophet SAW.
Honestly, after how things have been lately, my resentment was soothed just by asking myself "What would Muhammad S.A.W do in this situation?" And of course he did every kind things, the kindest ways possible! The same with how he cared for his family. I really hope that by doing this, Allah grants me forgiveness this Ramadhan.
May Allah lift the afflictions on your mom, and with it forgives all her sins. May we have the chance to meet Ramadhan again next year. And thank you Khaulah, for being so much help at home :)
Love,
Dad.
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
#13. Ramadhan Mubarak
Assalaamu'alaikum WBT
Dear Khaulah,
Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah who gave us the chance to meet the blessed month Ramadhan again this year. This is your third Ramadhan :)
Life was full with ups and downs these past months, both financially and in aspect of well-being : spent dozens of time at the workshop with various breakdowns on both of our cars, your mom's eczema burst that she can barely walk, spent quite a fortune on repairs and healthcare etc. But Im glad we did travel together to beautiful places though most of it I look after you and your mom, have to walk alone to places while you are with your mom and sometimes walk around with you, just both of us. Personally, it feels like I am being taught precious lessons that I will never forget. And after its over, I know that this recent experience is the most memorable one for me.
I know that at he moment you might not understand or remember any of our hardships, but if later in your life you experience one, keep in mind that these obstacles are tests from Allah, a hurdle that makes life more interesting and successes much more worthier to remember.
Love,
Dad.
Monday, May 8, 2017
#12. from your dad
Assalaamu'alaikum WBT.
"Someday I wish I am lucky enough to live a life like of my wife and children..."
Dear Khaulah,
How have you been? Grammatically, if someone asked you this question, it needs an answer much longer than a simple "ok" or "good". It means that we haven't been meeting for a long time and you need to tell me how your life has been lately. But have it been that long? Who knows. Maybe by the time you read this letter its been a decade or two since it is written and for a moment that long, there's no way for us to know what happened in between.
Quite a while ago, I came across that quote up there shared by childhood friend of mine who is now a father of two. It is easy to remember that quote especially for us dads. That saying up there sure made me think hard and choose between satisfying my emotion and selfishness or to feed my logic and selflessness.
Looking at the dads around me, I can tell their struggle to maintain the family, to feed them and provide for them. But no, though part of it may be true, but I don't think all dads wish a life like their wives or children. It is enough for them to see their family live happily and achieve success in their field, and as for themselves at least to be appreciated. Of course as a Muslim we pray that the wife and children help us to attain Jannah too, or at least not pushing us towards hellfire wal'iyadzubillah.
As for my old friend, I can understand how it feels though.. Its just that being disrespected after eating so little so that your family can eat more, or spending much less so that your family can spend more, buys better clothes, or simply lives better, is plain painful. I bet the you who is two years old right now can understand too! Haha..
As for my old friend, I can understand how it feels though.. Its just that being disrespected after eating so little so that your family can eat more, or spending much less so that your family can spend more, buys better clothes, or simply lives better, is plain painful. I bet the you who is two years old right now can understand too! Haha..
You see, when we're little, our dad gave the family, gave us all of his earnings so that we live a better life than his. Then when we're old, we gave all our earnings to our family and child, only giving back to our father a little or not at all. Dads sure sacrificed a lot.
But wait, I'm not saying that sacrifices made my dads are superior. In fact its the opposite. Dads may be the leader of the house but there's a reason why in Islam a child is commanded to give good companionship to the mom thrice as of the father's (HR Bukhari, Muslim), putting Jannah at her feet and placing caring for her over a war fi sabilillah (HR Tirmidhi).
Let me repeat the quote again :
"Someday I wish I am lucky enough to live a life like of my wife and children..."
What is the definition of life that is used in this quotation?
Moms would never make a sentence like this to reclaim their life.
Indeed it was for us whom was in her belly that the scratches or cuts on her body won't heal. Even in cellular level our mom have already sacrificed for us, prioritizing the little us over herself. Her immune system stooped so low focusing on the little being inside her belly. MasyaAllah just this one example is already mind boggling how beautiful Allah's decree are. Of course there are other things too that not need to be said by me. You're a girl Khaulah, you will know :)
I'm just saying, appreciate all the sacrifices that people make. Perhaps what they endure in doing so is a test from Allah, and it might be the heaviest thing for them. Because Allah tests us, His servants, right at our weakest spot.
Love,
Dad.
We have enjoined on man Kindness to his parents: in pain did his
mother bear him and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying
of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At
length when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty
years he says "O my Lord! grant me that I may be grateful for Thy
favor which Thou hast bestowed upon me and upon both my parents
and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve;
and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee
and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam."
[Al-Ahqaf : 15]
Monday, April 10, 2017
#11. what matters most
Salaam.
Dear Khaulah,
How are you today? Sorry its been a while. Two weeks ago, an uncle of mine passed away after embracing Islam the day before. I paid him a visit at the hospital a couple of times within that week and talked to his child about bringing him to Islam and they said they'll wait after all their siblings got together. The next day I was so grateful to hear that he agreed to embrace Islam on that very day. And alhamdulillah, though his illness did not cured, he died as a Muslim the day after.
Khaulah, this uncle is actually one of my colleague. I remembered that the first day I reported to the office, almost all of the staffs already knew that I'm his nephew and to the people at the village he always bragged of me as his "boss". His style was always the harshest when joking around, even among us Dusuns whom I consider to have rough style when talking. I knew that many people were hurt but the moment he died as a Muslim I was happy for him.
What I'm trying to say here is no matter how good or bad you lived your life, what matters most is how it ended. And obviously, the best way for us to have that desired good ends, a good death, we must live a good life and pray to Allah to grant us husnul khotimah.
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
How are you today? Sorry its been a while. Two weeks ago, an uncle of mine passed away after embracing Islam the day before. I paid him a visit at the hospital a couple of times within that week and talked to his child about bringing him to Islam and they said they'll wait after all their siblings got together. The next day I was so grateful to hear that he agreed to embrace Islam on that very day. And alhamdulillah, though his illness did not cured, he died as a Muslim the day after.
Khaulah, this uncle is actually one of my colleague. I remembered that the first day I reported to the office, almost all of the staffs already knew that I'm his nephew and to the people at the village he always bragged of me as his "boss". His style was always the harshest when joking around, even among us Dusuns whom I consider to have rough style when talking. I knew that many people were hurt but the moment he died as a Muslim I was happy for him.
What I'm trying to say here is no matter how good or bad you lived your life, what matters most is how it ended. And obviously, the best way for us to have that desired good ends, a good death, we must live a good life and pray to Allah to grant us husnul khotimah.
Love,
Dad.
Monday, March 27, 2017
#10. The other star that took its flight
Salaam.
Dear Khaulah,
A few days ago, I was having dinner with some of my friends at the Jerudong Food Court when suddenly I saw a familiar appearance from afar walking towards us. It was an uncle whom I used to spend a lot of time with while I was settling at Pekan Tutong back in 2013-2014. I'll always remember how we used to hang out after the congregational Subuh prayer and tadarrus at MHBPT. It was pleasant to see him again after quite some time.
Conversing with him reminded me about the Grandpa who used to mingle with us back then too, whom last I heard was sent to the hospital. You may not remember this Khaulah, but he was the one that we waited at the Masjid when you're much younger. After waiting for a chance since morning, finally I got to bring you to him after 'Asr that day. I was so eager to bring you to him because it felt like he was my own Grandpa, whom presence I failed to appreciate while I still got one. And I have utmost respect for him because of his devotion towards our Deen despite his age which back then was already 85 years old. From him, I was able to learn many things and hear many amazing stories too. Honestly, there are days that I do miss those moments.
That is why when I asked the uncle about him, I was deeply saddened to hear that he had passed. It was during the same time I was admitted at the hospital. That night, it really felt like just yesterday I had a chat with him. It felt as if it was just yesterday I last watched his back as he walked towards the first saff while inspiring us like he always did. May Allah forgive his soul and grant him Jannah. Aameen.
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
A few days ago, I was having dinner with some of my friends at the Jerudong Food Court when suddenly I saw a familiar appearance from afar walking towards us. It was an uncle whom I used to spend a lot of time with while I was settling at Pekan Tutong back in 2013-2014. I'll always remember how we used to hang out after the congregational Subuh prayer and tadarrus at MHBPT. It was pleasant to see him again after quite some time.
Conversing with him reminded me about the Grandpa who used to mingle with us back then too, whom last I heard was sent to the hospital. You may not remember this Khaulah, but he was the one that we waited at the Masjid when you're much younger. After waiting for a chance since morning, finally I got to bring you to him after 'Asr that day. I was so eager to bring you to him because it felt like he was my own Grandpa, whom presence I failed to appreciate while I still got one. And I have utmost respect for him because of his devotion towards our Deen despite his age which back then was already 85 years old. From him, I was able to learn many things and hear many amazing stories too. Honestly, there are days that I do miss those moments.
That is why when I asked the uncle about him, I was deeply saddened to hear that he had passed. It was during the same time I was admitted at the hospital. That night, it really felt like just yesterday I had a chat with him. It felt as if it was just yesterday I last watched his back as he walked towards the first saff while inspiring us like he always did. May Allah forgive his soul and grant him Jannah. Aameen.
Love,
Dad.
Saturday, March 18, 2017
#9. Looking Up
Assalaamu'alaikum WBT.
Dear Khaulah,
How are you today? This past few days made me reminisce things of the past.. I wonder how you will see things as the eldest child. Do you know, Khaulah, ever since I was little I always looked up to my elder siblings especially my eldest brother. I would listen and remember things that they said and taught me and most of the time took their views on things as my own.
When I was in middle school, I began to live at the hostel and my brother was already leaving by the end of the year. Back then, I loved to draw so much but I chose commerce nevertheless because I always heard from my brother about the kindness of the teacher. One day, the teacher showed a student her picture at Hawaii during the last holiday and the student boldly asked the teacher, "Isn't it sinful to not covering aurat even when overseas?" The teacher then said something about it's between her and God, and that was when I, who was still not a Muslim at that time, lost my respect to her.
Of course didn't act disrespectfully afterwards, what I'm pointing out is regarding insight. I think that was the first time I thought of something for my own and up until now, certainly made wrong judgements along the way. Now is easier though that I'm a Muslim, just follow what the Quran and Sunnah says :) So I wonder how would you see things before that. I hope that your mom and me had been and will always be someone that you can follow and best-friends that you can talk of anything with.
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
How are you today? This past few days made me reminisce things of the past.. I wonder how you will see things as the eldest child. Do you know, Khaulah, ever since I was little I always looked up to my elder siblings especially my eldest brother. I would listen and remember things that they said and taught me and most of the time took their views on things as my own.
When I was in middle school, I began to live at the hostel and my brother was already leaving by the end of the year. Back then, I loved to draw so much but I chose commerce nevertheless because I always heard from my brother about the kindness of the teacher. One day, the teacher showed a student her picture at Hawaii during the last holiday and the student boldly asked the teacher, "Isn't it sinful to not covering aurat even when overseas?" The teacher then said something about it's between her and God, and that was when I, who was still not a Muslim at that time, lost my respect to her.
Of course didn't act disrespectfully afterwards, what I'm pointing out is regarding insight. I think that was the first time I thought of something for my own and up until now, certainly made wrong judgements along the way. Now is easier though that I'm a Muslim, just follow what the Quran and Sunnah says :) So I wonder how would you see things before that. I hope that your mom and me had been and will always be someone that you can follow and best-friends that you can talk of anything with.
Love,
Dad.
Saturday, March 11, 2017
#8. my notes, your updates
Salaam!
Dear Khaulah,
I pray that you get well soon. Sorry that after the program that I told you in my last letter, I had to spend another 3 days and nights at the hospital after getting my thyroglossal cyst removed on the 27th February. But hey, we got some time to catch up too and today is my first day getting back to work after two weeks. Looked like a long holiday right? xD Except that most of it I got trouble standing up for a long time let alone carrying things.
By the way, I don't know if its the surgery but I think it happened a bit earlier though - right now I can't quite see things a few meters clearly. So I had a very difficult time searching for simpangs too. Also can't really recognise people from afar. But don't worry Khaulah I'll notice you from miles away hehe..
Actually right now I am waiting for the release of the recent titah from His Majesty the Sultan of Brunei at Prime Minister's Office's website. I heard some of it in the news a few days ago and were touched by the things he said. Made me remember the recent National's Day celebration where he refused the umbrellas while walking towards the participants of the field performance, under heavy downpour. Some of his titah was regarding how concerned he was with the statistics of the number of people who performs solat and recites al-Quran.
Once, I used to raise this issue regarding solat in a meeting with some of the LegCo members and somehow either they just kept quiet or laughed it off. Alhamdulillah, now that His Majesty addressed this issue himself people should know that worldly things should not be the only things to be discussed in meetings, especially among grass root leaders.
May Allah protect and bless our beloved king!
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
I pray that you get well soon. Sorry that after the program that I told you in my last letter, I had to spend another 3 days and nights at the hospital after getting my thyroglossal cyst removed on the 27th February. But hey, we got some time to catch up too and today is my first day getting back to work after two weeks. Looked like a long holiday right? xD Except that most of it I got trouble standing up for a long time let alone carrying things.
By the way, I don't know if its the surgery but I think it happened a bit earlier though - right now I can't quite see things a few meters clearly. So I had a very difficult time searching for simpangs too. Also can't really recognise people from afar. But don't worry Khaulah I'll notice you from miles away hehe..
Actually right now I am waiting for the release of the recent titah from His Majesty the Sultan of Brunei at Prime Minister's Office's website. I heard some of it in the news a few days ago and were touched by the things he said. Made me remember the recent National's Day celebration where he refused the umbrellas while walking towards the participants of the field performance, under heavy downpour. Some of his titah was regarding how concerned he was with the statistics of the number of people who performs solat and recites al-Quran.
Once, I used to raise this issue regarding solat in a meeting with some of the LegCo members and somehow either they just kept quiet or laughed it off. Alhamdulillah, now that His Majesty addressed this issue himself people should know that worldly things should not be the only things to be discussed in meetings, especially among grass root leaders.
May Allah protect and bless our beloved king!
Love,
Dad.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
#7. Dream of a Muslim
Salaam!
Dear Khaulah,
Sorry its been quite a while. How are you today? The first time seeing you two days ago after been away for three days, suddenly you seemed far more articulate. I really missed you throughout the whole 3 days program. You and your mom.
I should be at the hospital again right now rather that at this office of mine. But its okay, I'll write a little bit for you before going there. I was at the hospital since morning anyway. Why because to arrange for my second surgery.
Today I want to talk to you about the program that we had recently, Program Pemantapan Belia Mu'allaf 2017 : From Syahadah to Happiness. In this program I was one of the working committee, like many programs before. But you know, Khaulah, this kind of program always reminded me of one thing, everytime. That the more tired, sleepless, hungry or beat I am in doing these kind of work, the closer I feel to my Lord, and the more I miss to return to Him. Especially in this state.
Khaulah, we as Muslims are the people of great purposes. Often times our dreams are not in living or in this life itself. Often times, our dreams lies in attaining our desired end. Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for reminding me this feeling again.
Sorry I actually want to tell more about what I learnt during the program, but need to go now. See you!
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
Sorry its been quite a while. How are you today? The first time seeing you two days ago after been away for three days, suddenly you seemed far more articulate. I really missed you throughout the whole 3 days program. You and your mom.
I should be at the hospital again right now rather that at this office of mine. But its okay, I'll write a little bit for you before going there. I was at the hospital since morning anyway. Why because to arrange for my second surgery.
Today I want to talk to you about the program that we had recently, Program Pemantapan Belia Mu'allaf 2017 : From Syahadah to Happiness. In this program I was one of the working committee, like many programs before. But you know, Khaulah, this kind of program always reminded me of one thing, everytime. That the more tired, sleepless, hungry or beat I am in doing these kind of work, the closer I feel to my Lord, and the more I miss to return to Him. Especially in this state.
Khaulah, we as Muslims are the people of great purposes. Often times our dreams are not in living or in this life itself. Often times, our dreams lies in attaining our desired end. Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for reminding me this feeling again.
Sorry I actually want to tell more about what I learnt during the program, but need to go now. See you!
Love,
Dad.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
#6. Busy Nation
Assalaamu'alaikum WBT.
Dear Khaulah,
Its been a week since you transferred daycare. So its been a week I drive alone to work too. I sure miss the morning talks that we used to have, or at least your company when you're asleep. Also the various moods you'll show while on the way home xD
The public sure is busy right now preparing for the impending National Day Celebration this coming 23rd February. I too am involved with the march pass and field performance. Furthermore, right now we are also preparing for the Program Pemantapan Belia Mu'allaf which will take place on the 17 - 19 February 2017. Alhamdulillah preparing for the latter is fun, getting to know and work together with Ustazs from PDI and also fellow reverts throughout the country.
I guess that's all for today.
Love,
Dad.
P/S : By this time you already able to construct your own sentence a bit and able to tell stories too! Congrats.
Dear Khaulah,
Its been a week since you transferred daycare. So its been a week I drive alone to work too. I sure miss the morning talks that we used to have, or at least your company when you're asleep. Also the various moods you'll show while on the way home xD
The public sure is busy right now preparing for the impending National Day Celebration this coming 23rd February. I too am involved with the march pass and field performance. Furthermore, right now we are also preparing for the Program Pemantapan Belia Mu'allaf which will take place on the 17 - 19 February 2017. Alhamdulillah preparing for the latter is fun, getting to know and work together with Ustazs from PDI and also fellow reverts throughout the country.
I guess that's all for today.
Love,
Dad.
P/S : By this time you already able to construct your own sentence a bit and able to tell stories too! Congrats.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
#5. My best two years
Assalaamu'alaikum wbt.
My dear Khaulah Faarisah,
Alhamdulillah, you are two years old now. It felt as if it was just last night that I accompanied your mom in the labour room, holding tight her hand as she was giving birth to you. It felt as if it was just last night that I embraced you in my slightly trembling arms as I walked you outside of the ward, with my frail feet, to meet your grandparents, achiks, the uncles and your Kaka Eli. I can still recall how my shoulder suddenly felt heavy as my veins overflowed with surge of responsibilities.
You know, sometimes I do miss the earlier days that I spent with you, Khaulah. Those moments when I was able to do everything so that your mom can recover well and fast. During those moments, I felt very helpful and accomplished. Those memories were precious to me - the sleepless nights, those moment we spent on deciding your name and doing researches on you (or rather what to do with you), the works needed every time you need your diapers changed, the constant dimness of the room, and so much more. Keeping an eye on you and watching you grow have always been our pleasure.
We are very happy, and especially grateful, that Allah made you as our first child. You have always been the quiet and soft-spoken one, though sometimes very playful and bubbly. You are also well mannered, kind, and tend to cheer everyone with your lightheartedness. Of course there were days that you felt down and grumpy too, and to those we tried as much to understand. We're really sorry if sometimes we don't. I don't know if you can still remember this (by the time you read this letter), but there are also days that you cried because we didn't give you what you want or didn't let things go your way, I'm sure you already understood why.
Seeing you solat with your mom, and how you improved your hafazan, your cheerfullness when reciting du'as or your voluntary zikr, delighted and pleased me the most. That is because among all the things that we want to teach you, knowing Allah and His Messenger, loving Islam and the Ummah, and being kind tops it all. Afterall, you're the one that we can rely on after we're gone. We hope that your closeness to our Creator may help ease our journey returning to Him.
Oookiiee dookiee, thats all what I want to say on your birthday, Khaulah. Oh by the way today is your last day on your current daycare, tomorrow you're going to a new one nearer to our home. May Allah make this decission the best for us all.
Loving you each and every day,
Dad.
My dear Khaulah Faarisah,
Alhamdulillah, you are two years old now. It felt as if it was just last night that I accompanied your mom in the labour room, holding tight her hand as she was giving birth to you. It felt as if it was just last night that I embraced you in my slightly trembling arms as I walked you outside of the ward, with my frail feet, to meet your grandparents, achiks, the uncles and your Kaka Eli. I can still recall how my shoulder suddenly felt heavy as my veins overflowed with surge of responsibilities.
You know, sometimes I do miss the earlier days that I spent with you, Khaulah. Those moments when I was able to do everything so that your mom can recover well and fast. During those moments, I felt very helpful and accomplished. Those memories were precious to me - the sleepless nights, those moment we spent on deciding your name and doing researches on you (or rather what to do with you), the works needed every time you need your diapers changed, the constant dimness of the room, and so much more. Keeping an eye on you and watching you grow have always been our pleasure.
We are very happy, and especially grateful, that Allah made you as our first child. You have always been the quiet and soft-spoken one, though sometimes very playful and bubbly. You are also well mannered, kind, and tend to cheer everyone with your lightheartedness. Of course there were days that you felt down and grumpy too, and to those we tried as much to understand. We're really sorry if sometimes we don't. I don't know if you can still remember this (by the time you read this letter), but there are also days that you cried because we didn't give you what you want or didn't let things go your way, I'm sure you already understood why.
Seeing you solat with your mom, and how you improved your hafazan, your cheerfullness when reciting du'as or your voluntary zikr, delighted and pleased me the most. That is because among all the things that we want to teach you, knowing Allah and His Messenger, loving Islam and the Ummah, and being kind tops it all. Afterall, you're the one that we can rely on after we're gone. We hope that your closeness to our Creator may help ease our journey returning to Him.
Oookiiee dookiee, thats all what I want to say on your birthday, Khaulah. Oh by the way today is your last day on your current daycare, tomorrow you're going to a new one nearer to our home. May Allah make this decission the best for us all.
Loving you each and every day,
Dad.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
#4. and my 29th
Salaam!
Dear Khaulah,
Last Thursday I received a text from a friend, greeting my birthday in Hijrah. I laughed haha.. Even me myself never knew my birthday in Hijrah calendar! Actually I never bothered to check it, my birthday for me is just another day. But still... I'm already 29 years old eh?
When I was younger, I used to play computer games, Football Manager. In that game, and in fact in real life too, a professional player will be at the peak of their careers when their age is around 28 to 31 years old. That's why professional players usually hang their boots in their early 30's. Sorry if you still can't understand this by the time you first read this letter, but my point is as long as energy and motivation matters, the peak of them should be around this time. Even as a manager, people don't tend to buy players at this age, rather trying to sell them. So that's why, Khaulah, I'm a bit worried because even all this time I still cannot do my best in doing what I do, be it in pleasing Allah, leading the family, amar ma'ruf and nahi munkar and so on. Do you know? Sayyidina Umar al-Khattab was said to embrace Islam when he was 28. By that time he was already almost at his best. His strength, his courage, his influence and his contribution to Islam. I pray that Allah make us strong and steadfast on His path. O Allah, give me the fortitude to be an Umar of my time.
Oh by the way, last Thursday was also a farewell ceremony to my colleague who is retiring soon. In fact he's a friend to my dad. I guess that's the last of them. When I first came to this department more than three years ago, there was quite a number of my dad's friend working for their last few years before retirement. It was strange at first, almost funny. But it sure was pleasant :) They taught me many things, give advises sometimes, tell stories about their time with my dad and so on. And this last one happened to be the Headmaster when I first entered Primary School, which was already demolished a long time ago. Time sure flies fast, Khaulah.
I guess thats it for today :)
Love,
Dad.
P/s: You were fast asleep all the way to daycare this morning, looking forward to seeing you soon!
Dear Khaulah,
Last Thursday I received a text from a friend, greeting my birthday in Hijrah. I laughed haha.. Even me myself never knew my birthday in Hijrah calendar! Actually I never bothered to check it, my birthday for me is just another day. But still... I'm already 29 years old eh?
When I was younger, I used to play computer games, Football Manager. In that game, and in fact in real life too, a professional player will be at the peak of their careers when their age is around 28 to 31 years old. That's why professional players usually hang their boots in their early 30's. Sorry if you still can't understand this by the time you first read this letter, but my point is as long as energy and motivation matters, the peak of them should be around this time. Even as a manager, people don't tend to buy players at this age, rather trying to sell them. So that's why, Khaulah, I'm a bit worried because even all this time I still cannot do my best in doing what I do, be it in pleasing Allah, leading the family, amar ma'ruf and nahi munkar and so on. Do you know? Sayyidina Umar al-Khattab was said to embrace Islam when he was 28. By that time he was already almost at his best. His strength, his courage, his influence and his contribution to Islam. I pray that Allah make us strong and steadfast on His path. O Allah, give me the fortitude to be an Umar of my time.
Oh by the way, last Thursday was also a farewell ceremony to my colleague who is retiring soon. In fact he's a friend to my dad. I guess that's the last of them. When I first came to this department more than three years ago, there was quite a number of my dad's friend working for their last few years before retirement. It was strange at first, almost funny. But it sure was pleasant :) They taught me many things, give advises sometimes, tell stories about their time with my dad and so on. And this last one happened to be the Headmaster when I first entered Primary School, which was already demolished a long time ago. Time sure flies fast, Khaulah.
I guess thats it for today :)
Love,
Dad.
P/s: You were fast asleep all the way to daycare this morning, looking forward to seeing you soon!
Thursday, January 12, 2017
#3. Oranges
Salaam!
Dear Khaulah,
How are you, little girl? Today right now you are at the daycare that you will be leaving by the end of this month. You were very funny this morning, refused to wake up when we say you're following me to school but as soon we're decided that I'll go to work first and your mom will send you later, you suddenly stood up and said 'jom, lets go!'
I always know how you loved food so much, any food! But right now, your fondness of oranges and tangerines are far beyond that haha.. just yesterday you instantly finished an orange while on the way home after school. And the night before you alone swallowed 6-7 tangerines in one go. You could've done it slower, you know, to enjoy the savoriness more.
Oranges and tangerines are in fact one of the symbol of Chinese new year. Maybe its passed through the genes, who knows. My mom is Chinese by the way, just in case I forgot or didn't get the chance to tell you.
I guess that's all. Its just me writing a letter to you so that I can read them again later lest I forget the many milestones that you achieved throughout your life. Your young dad (right now) is ever forgetful you know HAHA
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
How are you, little girl? Today right now you are at the daycare that you will be leaving by the end of this month. You were very funny this morning, refused to wake up when we say you're following me to school but as soon we're decided that I'll go to work first and your mom will send you later, you suddenly stood up and said 'jom, lets go!'
I always know how you loved food so much, any food! But right now, your fondness of oranges and tangerines are far beyond that haha.. just yesterday you instantly finished an orange while on the way home after school. And the night before you alone swallowed 6-7 tangerines in one go. You could've done it slower, you know, to enjoy the savoriness more.
Oranges and tangerines are in fact one of the symbol of Chinese new year. Maybe its passed through the genes, who knows. My mom is Chinese by the way, just in case I forgot or didn't get the chance to tell you.
I guess that's all. Its just me writing a letter to you so that I can read them again later lest I forget the many milestones that you achieved throughout your life. Your young dad (right now) is ever forgetful you know HAHA
Love,
Dad.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
#2. Your 2nd Birthday (Hijri)
Assalaamualaikum WBT.
Dear Khaulah,
Your birthday in Hijri was on 8 Rabiulakhir 1436, which is later today. Oh you were born (as documented by the nurse) at 7.10 pm by the way. First and foremost of course we thank Allah for lending you to us for two years and we ask for Allah's forgiveness if somewhere and somehow we were careless in fulfilling our responsibility towards you. And we want to thank you, Khaulah, for being here with us, adding more laughter to our little family and circle of friends. And of course we know that you also helped to brighten some peoples' lives that we came across along the road. Be it at the petrol stations, restaurants, while waiting for the traffic lights turn green, while walking on the malls or running around the spacious pathways and foyers of your favorite masjid. We hope that you will always be the first to give, to spread kindness, be the first to offers comfort, and grow up being a person beloved by Allah and Rasulullah.
By now, your physical growth have slowed down, not as fast as before at least. But your speech have become clearer each and every day. I had a good time talking to you. Its refreshing to hear your nonstop singing and your random countings, ABCs, Alif Ba Ta,s and quran memorisation XD And its especially funny that you use my mother language, Dusun, in some occasions too. Lets just use it when we're at kampong okay? Haha.
By the way, after what happened recently, it really felt as if Allah "got me" this time. I was always reminded before but then became complacent again and again, kept on forgetting my true purpose again and again.. So that's why this time I pray that Allah got me, got us, in every moment of my life, our lives. Lets continue on upgrading our relationship with Allah together, okay?
Love,
Dad.
Dear Khaulah,
Your birthday in Hijri was on 8 Rabiulakhir 1436, which is later today. Oh you were born (as documented by the nurse) at 7.10 pm by the way. First and foremost of course we thank Allah for lending you to us for two years and we ask for Allah's forgiveness if somewhere and somehow we were careless in fulfilling our responsibility towards you. And we want to thank you, Khaulah, for being here with us, adding more laughter to our little family and circle of friends. And of course we know that you also helped to brighten some peoples' lives that we came across along the road. Be it at the petrol stations, restaurants, while waiting for the traffic lights turn green, while walking on the malls or running around the spacious pathways and foyers of your favorite masjid. We hope that you will always be the first to give, to spread kindness, be the first to offers comfort, and grow up being a person beloved by Allah and Rasulullah.
By now, your physical growth have slowed down, not as fast as before at least. But your speech have become clearer each and every day. I had a good time talking to you. Its refreshing to hear your nonstop singing and your random countings, ABCs, Alif Ba Ta,s and quran memorisation XD And its especially funny that you use my mother language, Dusun, in some occasions too. Lets just use it when we're at kampong okay? Haha.
By the way, after what happened recently, it really felt as if Allah "got me" this time. I was always reminded before but then became complacent again and again, kept on forgetting my true purpose again and again.. So that's why this time I pray that Allah got me, got us, in every moment of my life, our lives. Lets continue on upgrading our relationship with Allah together, okay?
Love,
Dad.
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