Dear Khaulah,
Assalaamualaikum WBT.
As I write this letter, we are at home and you are still fast asleep near me. I decided to take a day leave today because you still look unwell.
Today is also our first day together alone as your Ibu flew to KL yesterday for her studies. She will be back in a couple of weeks insyaAllah.
Oh and you are already 5, Olah, may Allah bless you always and grant you a long and barakah life ahead of you. Thank you for always being there for us, leaping around from meetings to meetings, programs to programs, NGOs to NGOs etc.
I am grateful that we get to live like this. I can't imagine what we would be if we just spend what Allah lent to us such as wealth, time, energy and so on solely for ourselves. Only. We might be able to spend so much more time together, or buy things that we want, do whatever things that we want but is that our purpose to live?
On the other hand, living a life to be beneficial and in service of others surely needs sacrifices too. Though there are no sacrifice too big if our aim is mardhatillah.
What is my biggest sacrifice as an activist?
Money? Time? Energy? Ideas?
I don't really know. I don't think I have 'biggest' sacrifice yet. If I do, I think it must be for me to come out from my cave onto the open, interacting with people and step forward to lead. Being me (introvert, phlegmatic, INFP), to move, socializing and leading are the most tiring things in the world.
I'm still not sure about you Olah but your Ibu's personality is actually the direct opposite of me ha ha! She's always on the move, a pure extrovert and leader type. I'm actually so grateful for that, for often times its her energy that made me want to do more in whatever I do.
Soon it will be my 10th anniversary as a Muslim too. I sure ate a lot of dates than what I hoped for at the beginning (have you heard of the story of this sahabah?). Looking back, I never did wished for a life this long when I reverted to Islam. I used to hope to meet Allah as soon as possible before I start to accumulate sins.
But nevertheless, alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for allowing me to give my life in your way. I no longer concern myself with how long, but as long as you are pleased with me in the end, living for another year or a hundred years more means nothing compared to the infinity (hereafter).
Thank you Allah for this journey, letting me to find You, and finding myself in between. A founding journey!
I love you Khaulah,
Ayah.
P/S : Stop picking fight with me and your Ibu each and everyday okay, we know you're a bit lonely but no haha xD
