#29. Your First Pet, Faarisah

Dear Khaulah,

Salaam.

How are you today our reliable baby girl? Alhamdulillah it's already almost one full month since we stayed at home with just the two of us, and tonight we will pick your mom up insyaAllah. I wondered what will you remember about this one particular month. For me, this month sure is a special one to our bond. Both of us miss your mom but within the past 28 days we went through much together. I am delighted to see you grow more reliable, I saw you show more kindness, I saw you put others into consideration. I saw you.

Haha of course there are times when you suddenly cry in the morning and then during dinner explains to me that you cried because you missed your mom. Do you remember what you said everytime I say thank you for being here with me while your mom is away? You said, "Eh mestilaaahh.. karang kalau Khaulah nada, ayah cryyyy" while raising both of your hands near your cheeks

Then last week coincidentally I found a tortoise on the way back to kampong, and yesterday we picked it up and brought it home to Jerudong. You were so happy to meet your first pet and named is Faarisah, like your second name. You seemed ready to accept it as a part of our little family :) I was happy for you too, since when I was little we also used to have some tortoises as family pet. Lets look after Faarisah together, ok?

Can't wait to reunite with your mom later!

Love,
Ayah.

#28. A Father's Tears

Salaam.

My dear reliable Khaulah,

today marks the 6th day your mom flew to Shanghai for a month-long study scholarship. Thank you for being a good and helpful girl while mom's not around. Both of us miss your mom so for now lets work on improving ourselves that she will be surprised hehe.

“A father’s tears and fears" said someone, "are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remains as a pillar of strength throughout our lives.” Yep fathers won't really show his cries but when they do that must be something BIG.

Alhamdulillah yesterday I went to an old friend's reversion ceremony (majlis pengislaman) at his parent's house. It was really heartwarming to see that his dad was so eager with the ceremony that he kept going here and there and ask everyone if everything's okay. That is to be expected though since he invited his good friend, the current minister of culture, youth and sports as the guest of honor.

To cut the story short, the guest of honor turned up then we started the event. Before my friend took his syahadah, I recited the first 14 verses of Surah Taha as the opening of the ceremony with the intention that all the non-muslims who also attended will ponder upon the verses like Saidina Umar did. 

Then my friend took his syahadah and everyone stood up to congratulate him. Only then I witnessed the father's trickling tears as he kissed his son's forehead. The guest of honor congratulated the father and hugged him while he was wiping his tears. I was so touched and can't help to be reminded of my parents during my reversion. The father was the happiest person during the ceremony but also the saddest. Happy because his eldest son will embark to a new way of life that he knew is the right way, while also sad about the end of the current non-muslim-father to non-muslim-son relationship and so he cried. Eventhough its still uncertain, little did he know that this reversion will strengthen the family's bond insyaAllah. May the other family members accepts Islam too.

At the end of the event I managed to spend some time talking with the attendees whom many of them was actually from my father's home village. We suddenly began to converse in Dusun language as soon as they know of my origin. I enjoyed it actually haha because its not everyday I can find people to speak Dusun with.

I've said this before and I will say this again, that as a son, there is nothing in this world that I want more than my parents embracing Islam. Even at the cost of me having to do everything there is to be done. This is me, Khaulah, and what's been burning inside of me since years ago. By the hope of the future, I kept going and by the moments like yesterday I grew more and more determined. May Allah ease our journey, all of us.

With heart full of love,

Ayah.