#5. My best two years

Assalaamu'alaikum wbt.

My dear Khaulah Faarisah,

Alhamdulillah, you are two years old now. It felt as if it was just last night that I accompanied your mom in the labour room, holding tight her hand as she was giving birth to you. It felt as if it was just last night that I embraced you in my slightly trembling arms as I walked you outside of the ward, with my frail feet, to meet your grandparents, achiks, the uncles and your Kaka Eli. I can still recall how my shoulder suddenly felt heavy as my veins overflowed with surge of responsibilities.

You know, sometimes I do miss the earlier days that I spent with you, Khaulah. Those moments when I was able to do everything so that your mom can recover well and fast. During those moments, I felt very helpful and accomplished. Those memories were precious to me - the sleepless nights, those moment we spent on deciding your name and doing researches on you (or rather what to do with you), the works needed every time you need your diapers changed, the constant dimness of the room, and so much more. Keeping an eye on you and watching you grow have always been our pleasure.

We are very happy, and especially grateful, that Allah made you as our first child. You have always been the quiet and soft-spoken one, though sometimes very playful and bubbly. You are also well mannered, kind, and tend to cheer everyone with your lightheartedness. Of course there were days that you felt down and grumpy too, and to those we tried as much to understand. We're really sorry if sometimes we don't. I don't know if you can still remember this (by the time you read this letter), but there are also days that you cried because we didn't give you what you want or didn't let things go your way, I'm sure you already understood why.

Seeing you solat with your mom, and how you improved your hafazan, your cheerfullness when reciting du'as or your voluntary zikr, delighted and pleased me the most. That is because among all the things that we want to teach you, knowing Allah and His Messenger, loving Islam and the Ummah, and being kind tops it all. Afterall, you're the one that we can rely on after we're gone. We hope that your closeness to our Creator may help ease our journey returning to Him.

Oookiiee dookiee, thats all what I want to say on your birthday, Khaulah. Oh by the way today is your last day on your current daycare, tomorrow you're going to a new one nearer to our home. May Allah make this decission the best for us all.

Loving you each and every day,
Dad.